Sum Goes Flowbama

I've done lots of stupid things in my time.

I used to eat ants, construction paper and glue.

I used to vandalize cop cars.

One time, I kicked a mailbox so hard, two of my toenails fell off.

I had a mentally challenged friend named Richard who used to challenge me to see who could stare at the sun the longest. For this reason, I am legally blind.

He was retarded and adventurous, and I was competetive, so we made a reckless pair.

On Saturday, I ate a candle.

I've slept in an air shaft to skip work, jumped from a three-story building onto concrete, and lit my leg hair on fire because I enjoyed the smell.

And now I've done Flowbama.